U.S. Government Halts All Liquor Sales During Quarantine Starting April 2
WASHINGTON D.C., Alcohol consumption has spiked in the U.S. since the implementation of a government mandated quarantine. Sales in fact are dramatically up according to the Alcohol Association of America. Medical professionals have determined that excess alcohol consumption can dramatically lower an individual’s immune system making them more susceptible to COVID-19, a disease caused by the Coronavirus.
Trump tweeted: “While this will be difficult for many Americans it is in the best interest of US recovery efforts. Only temporary – hope booze to be flowing by April 20th!” #MAGA
At this time, all liquor stores will be advised to close their doors to customers. In response to the stay-at-home order across the nation and the rule against social gatherings, the U.S. government has determined alcohol to be a non-essential beverage during quarantine. Moreover, recent studies have revealed new side-effects of alcohol. Not only will it further the spread of COVID-19 by decreasing one’s immunity, but binge drinking has been proven to actually raise one’s risk of coming down with an infection.
The one exception on the ban is Corona beer. People will be allowed to purchase Corona beer but will be rationed to two 12-packs per person. The government indicated this is a way for Corona to make up for the lost sales they have incurred to date and, as Corona is a Mexican based beer, it will help pay for the wall between the U.S. and Mexico.
“This seems like a bad idea at a bad time,” said Jack Daniel’s CMO, April Fool. She went on to say, “This was one of the few markets that was keeping the American economy afloat and everyone’s spirits up, no pun intended.”
While this is an April Fool’s joke, the coronavirus isn’t. So the Socialnomics team hopes this article brings attention to us being smart and also sending love and prayers to all of our frontline responders.